Author Topic: Minnesota annexing ND? This joke contains a lesson  (Read 3395 times)

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Offline pmp6nl

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Minnesota annexing ND? This joke contains a lesson
« on: December 07, 2008, 05:06:58 PM »
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Minnesota annexing ND? This joke contains a lesson
Matt Von Pinnon,
Published Sunday, December 07, 2008

It was just a matter of time before somebody said it.

In the time-honored tell-it-like-it-is tradition of comedy, it took a funnyman to say what many Minnesotans were thinking last week as border buddies revealed their financial forecasts:

North Dakota is really rich.

Minnesota is really poor.

You do the math.

“We need bold, new solutions, like annexing North Dakota,” Star-Tribune humor columnist James Lileks wrote in his Friday column.

“They (North Dakotans) have natural resources aplenty, and the population density of Antarctica, even if you figure in penguins. Pushover,” Lileks goes on.

“We have National Guard soldiers who’ve been to Iraq; I think Fargo would be an easier tour of duty. We would not only be bigger and richer, we would be the weirdest-shaped state in the nation, and cement our stature as the state with the greatest number of old guys named Elmer.”

Fargo’s own native son and a really talented writer, Lileks was just trying to have some fun. Right?

James?

Oh well. As these border debates usually go, it sparked a healthy (or unhealthy) online chat.

From a former North Dakotan who now lives in Minnesota came this warning to fellow Gopher-staters:

“They (North Dakotans) have lots of nuclear weapons and they don’t have an overwhelming sense of entitlement that nearly all of us have, so they may fight back.”

But from another ex-patriot:

“I grew up in ND and could not wait to escape. Barren, backward and closed-minded … you couldn’t pay me to go back. Keep the state and your little surplus. I would rather be in MN, broke or not.”

Of course, there were the self-deprecating ones, like this:

“Nowhere in ND can you find $50,000 drinking fountains like the ones the Minneapolis City Council unanimously approved just last summer. So take that North Dakota!”

And, apparently, western Minnesota and eastern North Dakota are seen as philosophically aligning more with their neighboring state than their own.

Consider these comments:

First, from a writer west of the Red River Valley:

“You (Minnesotans) won’t be welcome and will be thrown back at the border. Of course, you probably have Grand Forks and Fargo for the asking ... they are part of Minnesota anyway.”

And from this writer in western Minnesota:

“I’ve often thought we have more in common with the Dakotas than southeastern Minnesota, where the metro is. … There’s a North and South Dakota; maybe we should cede from Minnesota and become “East Dakota.”

Truth is, North Dakota needs more workers to get the jobs done. Minnesotans need the jobs.

Lileks jokes, “As a native North Dakotan, I am willing to head up the provisional government. As long as the per diem is fat, that is. And includes a trip back to the Cities every weekend.”

North Dakota officials take note: There’s a marketing gem hidden in that snide remark.

Von Pinnon is editor of The Forum. Reach him at (701) 241-5579 or [email protected]

From http://www.in-forum.com/articles/index.cfm?id=224267&section=Columnists&columnist=Matt%20Von%20Pinnon
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Offline Sal Atticum

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Re: Minnesota annexing ND? This joke contains a lesson
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2008, 05:31:15 PM »
"ex-patriot"?

:wtf:
JUST EXTRA POLISH. I DO SOME WORK WITH EXCELL SO I KEEP THE CAPS LOCK ON :-P

Offline pmp6nl

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Re: Minnesota annexing ND? This joke contains a lesson
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2008, 12:06:36 PM »
They wish!
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