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Offline Admiral Ackbar

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Herald article
« on: April 16, 2008, 05:51:57 PM »
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LLOYD OMDAHL COLUMN: Bridging the ethnic divide in North Dakota
Grand Forks Herald - 04/14/2008

“Where’s Garvey Erfald?” queried Homeland Security Committee Chair Ork Dorken as he surveyed the 13 electors gathered in the community hall for the big spring planning meeting. “We need our security officer if we are going to make plans to fight terrorism.”

“He’s at home writing a skit for our 123rd anniversary,” explained Little Jimmy, the town’s home-schooled college student majoring in industrial engineering over the Internet.

“A skit!” exclaimed Ork. “What kind of skit?”

“Well, I think it’s some sort of ethnic script,” ventured Orville Jordan, the retired railroad depot agent, as he shifted his green visor to the left side of his brow.

“That ain’t very smart,” cautioned Old Sievert. “This ethnic business is causing a lot of controversy since that Irish candidate for president explained about Pastor Meanmouth on TV.”

“What Irish candidate for president?” asked Einar Torvald.

“That O’Bama guy,” Sievert answered.

“He’s not Irish,” Einar snipped. “He’s an African ethnic-type person.”

“Is that right? Well, my color TV is busted, so I’m back to my black and white set, and he looked Irish to me,” Sievert explained. “Well, anyway, he’s the guy who suggested we all talk about ethnics — hang ‘er all out there on the wash line.”

“That’s what Garvey said,” explained Old Sievert. “He said we need to do our part to bridge the ethnic divides — bring people together — so he’s writing us a skit.”

“Well, some of those college students did the ethnic thing and got into a lot of trouble,” Ork added.

Just then, Garvey rushed through the door, proud as Maxwell Anderson. “I’ve got a real winner here,” he proclaimed, as he waved a sheaf of papers above his head.

“It’s called ‘Ole, The Wishek Blockbuster,’” Garvey said, a tremor of excitement in his voice. “It’s about how Ole comes over from Norway, buys a house in Wishek between two Germans, and brings a tub of lutefisk to the first Germans-from-Russia community potluck.”

“That’s about as much ethnics as one town can stand,” noted Madeleine Morgan.

“That’s not all,” Garvey continued. “Two Bohemian tourists from New Hradec got lost looking for a motel in Wishek, heard about the potluck, and threw in 25 pounds of jaternice.”

“The hero will be Schmitty, the Napoleon storekeeper, a quick thinker. When things get tense, he proposes a tasting contest. So everybody sits down and tastes the lutefisk, golubtsies and the jaternice.”

With a victorious smile, Garvey explained that the Germans thought the jaternice was great; the Bohemians liked the lutefisk, and Ole loved golubtsy. Of course, Schmitty saw that everything was modified by heavy doses of sauerkraut. It was an ethnic coup.

“Condi will be thrilled with this skit,” Little Jimmy concluded. “Maybe she could use it in Iraq.”

http://www.grandforksherald.com/articles/index.cfm?id=73581&section=Opinion
IT'S A TRAP!!!!1!

 

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